Nighttime Personalities Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Program

TV's prominent comedians used the broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's just launched visa initiative, labeled the "golden visa," describing it as a obvious pay-to-play system for the affluent.

Colbert's Pointed Analysis

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a mock Christmas tune targeting the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... spoils each thing he handles."

The focus was the new initiative that permits overseas individuals to purchase U.S. legal status for the price of a million dollars, with a "top-tier" tier for $5 million. An official website guarantees processing "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief message for you to wealthy applicants: before you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He noted that the card is also meant to "squeeze cash" from firms looking to hire foreign workers, with significant costs. "That is a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you also get free accommodation at a hotel of your choice – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"Unprecedented background check the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants truly are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Critique

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will let wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your choice."

"It might be time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the simplicity of the form, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Struggles

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping poll numbers during financial concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a bid to discuss prices, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a array of grocery items, where he reacted oddly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting conservative media defenses of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.